The strange apprenticeship

Advice can be difficult to receive from a stranger, particularly when it is given apropos of the fact that this particular stranger has become the biggest fish some god awful comedy club. A club where they regularly deliver eye watering mediocrity with a wink and a smile.

But, I want gigs, so I keep my mouth shut. But seriously, if you are a comic and you have “tip” for me, have the decency to get my second name right before you embark on your shit tinted yapping.


I am writting this in the back of a car by the good grace of the bluetooth modem on my phone. Pretty smart eh? Still have fuck all to say, but smart. real smart.


To who it may concern.

If it was you who made my back hurt can it be undone? I have to say, I really am hating it. If it wasn’t you and it was just me dressing up as a beetle for a day, then please ignore this letter.


Backy Mac Sore Sore

Its not about titles

I worked with a dog today. A little dog. 5 ½ months old. Bless. Puppy really. Sweet looking. Cute. Chiwawa Yorky cross. Yes. Very cute. Very.

Could not act though. I’m just saying. Could. Not. Act.

Couldn’t even bark. Which is what it was there to do. That’s all I’m saying, not even bark.

Point being - not a superior species, if anyone’s wondering. Not at all. Yep. If there is a list, I don’t know where the dog ranks but all I’m saying is – its not ahead of the Human. So, don’t loose any sleep over it. I certainly won’t. No sir, not at all.

Back to your kennel Lola. Go on back to your kennel. This a job for the humans.