Went to see KIM NOBLE WILL DIE last night. But before I type any opinions – recent mini reviews of my work and of Anna’s work have been discovered via search engines - the proponents of which got all blushy when we contacted them which is rich; if you heard yourself being slagged off in a room, you’d go over and do something - Just because it’s the internet, don’t expect people to do nothing. Well I want you to know Mr Noble, if you’re reading this I am willing to defend it to the core.

The preamble may be academic though, I really think his show is brilliant.  It’s a genuinely uncomfortable hour of incredible creativity that made you feel engaged, sticky, sad, and behind his eyes at points. People warned me that you might not be able to get certain aspects of it out of your head and they were right – to the extent that it prevented me saying anything to him afterwards.

We stayed at the SOHO and saw THE PYJAMA MEN which was incredibly competent show performed by some incredible talents but I just couldn’t engage with it after seeing Noble’s.

Suffice it to say Mr Noble is, in my opinion, a comedy hero.  His work sets a bar and proves that maxims can be ignored to great effect. It’s inspirational and perspirational and I recommend it highly (don’t go with your mother)

Will & Greg & Urine

Did I mention, we are recording a radio pilot for BBC radio 4? We did our first live gig for ages last night at 100 club hosted by the inimitable Dan Clark as sort of a preamble. Results = still got it.
On another note - i saw a man with blue hair pee onto a blue urinal cake making it dissolve and appear that he was pissing the colour off his hair. 

I maybe shouldn't have commented, I normally wouldn't, I'm really not that guy.

To dream – perchance to sleep

Dreams are normally only interesting to the person who dreamed them – so keeping it short…

Me, Josie long (who I know only very very slightly) plan a stand up gig underground in a tube tunnel. It looks great – though a bit terrifying. We put chairs out – I come up with the funniest joke in the world…

Q: What’s a leotard?
A: A person with learning difficulties who’s into astrology.

Not bad for a dream – though Jimmy Carr did a joke about uni-tards being one-legged mentals or something similar so half a point.

But, that’s not even the joke – no – the joke is, and bear with me, as the dream Josie did incredibly patiently…

Consider these two points

1. A leotard is the result of the desire for a woman to be able to move un-hindered, (most commonly in dance or aerobics.)
2. It’s revealing nature means that it may be sexualised by the viewer.

My conclusion (or dream punch line)

The leotard is therefore a physical embodiment the front line of socio sexual politics.

Boom Boom

She didn’t laugh either but I find it remarkable that I  thought that asleep.


So we are sitting - living room style. A mouse walks in. Stops, looks at me. Tries to act casual but is a dreadful actor and clearly senses a sort of fatal awkwardness.  It runs and hides behind Eastenders.

Consequently Eastenders loses its appeal so we went out to see "Where the Wild Things Are", to give the mouse a chance to get it together and move on. We hope it took the opportunity.





I have a casting coming up for a part playing an ex paratrooper. I’m a bit worried it might not be for me.

Sensing this  – my girlfriend said, “well, he’s an ex – paratrooper, maybe his muscles have wasted a bit”.

All you need is love people, all you need is love.



… says the television trail for the new Jeremy Clarkson book. Not all that surprising I suppose, disheartening but then so much is, it hardly seems getting worked up about. Although – what does he mean exactly? I assume he would rather stick pencils in his eyes that watch a Shakespeare work. But maybe not? 

What if he means he would rather stick pencils in his eyes than deny people the works of Shakespeare? It’s unlikely but let’s imagine – it is possible that the sentence is a truncated part of the minutes of a meeting Clarkson attended at a school or college of higher education. Could it have read…

“What are you talking about man? You can take such an important subject off the national curriculum. I won’t let you remove SHAKESPEARE – ID RATHER STICK PENCILS IN MY EYES. Hammond, tell him.”


One last scenario - it’s the future and Clarkson is visiting a genetic clinic in an attempt to stave off death. After making his fortune selling books with fruity titles such as “Born to Riled” and “And Another Thing” he has decided to spend his wealth on a new body. Looking through the catalogue he discovers the novelty section, full of ducks, pop stars, robin hood and the like. Que a muttered “SHAKESPEARE – ID RATHER STICK PENCILS IN MY EYES.” A comment not on the authors work but rather his stature.